For a long time creativity and I had a very harmonious collaboration. She was always there to express my feelings, and I was always listening. I was surrounded by the structure of school, drama classes and Arts University and I excelled. Inspiration was everywhere and I was blessed with many fruitful collaborations. I even won a prize at University of the Arts Utrecht and graduated with honors and a bright future ahead of me. 

But then my dream came true. I was asked to write a picture book together with my partner (an illustrator). Somewhere in that writing process I lost all my confidence. A slumbering perfectionist awoke in me who I can best describe like the horendous Miss Trunchbull from Mathilda.

Imagine headmistress Trunchbull from Mathilda terrorizing my creativity from inside. She yelled at me that I was a failure and threw me into the chokey until I would quit.
If I reread my scenes, she picked me up at my pigtails and threw me over the fence until I didn’t dare to look at my own work anymore. 
And if I got a compliment from a friend or collegue, she’d punish me by demanding me to eat the largest chocolate cake until I felt sick and full of despair.

Ofcourse there was no real Trunchbull in my life. People were lovely actually. This Trunchbull voice was all me.
My own insecurity, my fear of failure, my constant comparison to better writers. It was all me who was ruining my own dream just because I was very very scared of succeeding. 

Then I found ‘The Artist’s Way’ and started reading into it. At first I was very sceptical. My inner critic was very suspicious of a lot of things at the time and absolutely didn’t believe that there was a cure for my suffering. Because that is what artists do, right? Suffering creates better art!

Spoiler alert: No it doesn’t. 

I was very desperate at this point and had just enough confidence to know that I was almost there. I just had to silence Miss Trunchbul inside my head to finish my book and write with love again.

So I started doing my morning pages. And I went out on Artist’s date. And I cheated a lot of days when I didn’t feel like recovering. 

But slow but steady, I really began to see change. I felt joyful writing again. And while writing my morning pages lots of great ideas and inspiration hit me.
All kind of ideas that had been boiling inside me, but that I had cruelly silenced.
The morning pages and nature walks created the space to listen to my intuition and inner artist again. And wow that was magical.

Nevertheless, it is always a work in progress. A journey.
But ‘The Artist’s Way’ taught me life lessons I will cherish forever.
I have (almost) finished writing my book. I began and finished lots of other creative adventures. But most of all: I passionately know that I just have to share this wisdom with lots of other (struggling) artists.

Creativity and living a creative life is a very sensitive and vulnerable pursuit. But it is also the most magical one of all.
The tools in The Artist’s Way helped me recover and more resilient. 
I am sure it will change your life too. 

I hope you grant yourself this safe, inspiring and encouraging container.

Ofcourse you can decide that this is better another time. Postpone, or think you can do it all yourself. But how are you going to guarantee change? 

For years I told myself ’this will come later’, but I kept struggling with myself. I can guarantee you, if I could travel back in time, I would have started this course years earlier in a group of like-minded people. It deepens the process, ensures accountability and, above all, a lot of recognition and joy in sharing.

I really hope I may welcome you to this course!